belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
