You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
