Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I have post one night stand depression
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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