His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize