God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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