After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize