she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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