My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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