His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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