Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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