If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
