i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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