I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
