pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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