so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Randomize
