I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
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Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
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I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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