We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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