I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
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