do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
