"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
