Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
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