shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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