trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize