dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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