I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
