evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
