Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
