TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
