eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
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