I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
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