Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Even my vagina gasped.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
