very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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