This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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