Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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