nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
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This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
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He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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