I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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