you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
