I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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