Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
