Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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