We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize