ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize