you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
