Dude my mom stole all your condoms
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
