HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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