I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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