Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
