Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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