Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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