just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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