i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
