My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
