Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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