I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
sarcasm needs its own font
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
