You can't special order awesome
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
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