Yo dont text me then not text me
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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