alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
