why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
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