Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
