Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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