just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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